


When is a monster, not a monster?

by PseftisIncertus



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, HOMER - Works, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Angst, Because what else?, Have been feeling these two since the start of the quarantine, I NEED TO WRITE, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 09:49:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23469451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PseftisIncertus/pseuds/PseftisIncertus
Summary: "How can you love a god?"Phoenix sat by me."To love him in his darkness, to love him in his glory. In any shape or form, he takes""My love should be perfect, it should be true. It has to be unreproachable."I proclaimed."But why?"the man asks."To make up for it"I said,"To make up for the fact that it comes from me."
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus
Comments: 19
Kudos: 80





	When is a monster, not a monster?

**Author's Note:**

> When I thought quarantine gave me all the time to write but no ideas come to mind? How could you betray me mind?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy. 
> 
> My sudden obsession with Greek mythology paired with tragic lovers gripped me in the neck and got me on a ride so I found myself bingeing on Trojan war-related movies and books.

The gods are very cruel, as they often are. Heroes never have a happy ending, this was common knowledge by now. They walk on this earth with a touch of divinity and yet they have in them the melancholy of often early or terrible death. It should be easier to turn them away.

Oh the gods are so cruel, these men blessed by the fates. Names on the tongues of people, never to be forgotten. It would be better to stay away, let them have their glory! They were destined for it. Save yourself the trouble of the pain.

Yes, the gods are so cruel, I know this now. For they made you so wonderful and I was weak for your touch.

_Aristos Achaion_

It was the title they gave, I was only Patroclus and I should have known then.

Loving him should have been harder than it was. First came friendship, that I understand. Then as if falling asleep, I decided maybe this was love? And so all the emotions came at once.

How could I stop? I wished someone told me how. 

_"You have a taste for it now."_ Eros once said,

 _"A taste for what?"_ , I mistakenly asked.

 _"Love, my dear boy"_ , he cruelly laughed. 

Bound I was, to this callous fate. They say it loosens the limbs and weakens the mind, so be it, I resigned.

But never did I think, Anteros would smile on me.

 _"She cannot see us here,"_ Achilles said as he lay with me.

 _"Kiss him now"_ , the god whispers, and so I did.

I will never leave him, I was sure of it now. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.

We arrived in Troy, and he basked in his glory.

Gods fire his blood, rage fuels his soul.

He was made for this, he whispers in my ear, as I see the piles of bodies he has killed.

 _"When is a monster, not a monster?"_ Briseis once asked.

I watched the blood drain from his chiton, _"Oh when you love it"_ , I replied.

I convinced myself that I would drink poison in the name of healing.

That the flecks of blood that dried up in his hair can be washed away like the stench of death that surrounds him.

He is a beast, I know it in my heart.

I was falling into nowhere, praying for impact.

But my love is bottomless, I remember Eros laugh.

Blood drains on the battlefield, men lose their lives in a whim.

Aristos Achaion, Aristos Achaion! They all would cheer.

This is what it means to love a warrior, you should know when to look away.

His divinity never escapes me, his godliness sips through his skin.

 _"How can you love a god?"_ Phoenix sat by me.

 _"To love him in his darkness, to love him in his glory. In any shape or form, he takes"_

_"My love should be perfect, it should be true. It has to be unreproachable."_ I proclaimed. 

_"But why?"_ the man asks.

 _"To make up for it"_ I said, _"To make up for the fact that it comes from me."_

I am an exiled prince, I don't own any lands.

But if this is what I can give, then let it be so.

Let it be said that the fury he had in battle was as hot as the passion of love he has received,

Because my love would be perfect, my love would be true.

Aphrodite knows this, she loved Ares the same way too.

_"How long will you hold on to me?"_ Achilles asked me one day.

_"As long as you would let me, Philtatos, as long as there is time,"_

He held my gaze, and challenged me, _"Forever?"_

And I echoed what I said, _"As long as there is time."_

The truth about forever is it is not measured by an era

Forever can be now, forever can be a hundred years,

It is what is happening today, it is what would happen afterward.

From the underworld to the next; forever, my beloved, forever.

To die young with glory or live a long, but simple, life.

This has been his predicament, the prophecy for his story

 _"To glory then"_ , he said as we sailed to Troy.

To glory then, I repeated his words. To glory and all its consequences.

It is terrifying to love what death can touch.

One wrong slip, a thrust of a sword, a poisoned apple, wrath of someone who mourns

Prophecy is for those who could change the world, heroes, gods, and demigods

Mortal men's death does not matter

I plead to him, _"Please don't kill Hector"_

 _"Why would I kill Hector, what has Hector done to me?"_ he says

We feared what it was like to lose him, for him to die, for me to mourn.

Would I have a body to bury? Would the Trojan's take his body as a trophy?

 _"If I die, what would you do?"_ , he caresses my face

 _"I don't have to think, I'd follow after you"_ a grave promise given, but a promise I would keep.

The gods are very cruel, as they often are, they made you filled with pride. So I disguised with your armor, pushed to the battlefield to reclaim your lost glory, delivered to death by love.

Oh the gods are so cruel, these men blessed by the fates. Achilles screamed my name to Olympus, clutch my lifeless body and dragged Hector's body 9 times 

Yes, the gods are so cruel, I know this now my love, For they prepared me for your death, but they didn't prepare you for mine.

**Author's Note:**

> That was not planned at all but I like how it came to be. *Chef's kiss*
> 
> Credits to Caitlyn Siehl for the title and the line, "When is a monster, not a monster?", "Oh, when you love it."
> 
> Like I said, I've been binge-watching Trojan war-related movies and honestly, Troy (2004) was the only one that quite satisfied me (except for the Patroclus-Achilles are cousins bit, hated it). Troy: Fall of a City was a close second. I just didn't like how they portrayed Agamemnon, not as arrogant as Agamemnon (2004), the casting, AND since they already included some of the gods, why exclude Apollo? He's the one with so much interference. Also, my ideal Helen would be a woman who didn't care about either guy, she just hated being objectified. 
> 
> I don't know why they keep on excluding the gods, how fun would it be, seeing the gods being petty and tying up Zeus because he didn't like them to interfere. Also, maybe its just me or Achilles and Hector's fight is always portrayed as a one on one thing, its within the war actually, maybe its for the cinematography. But, imagine how cool it is when Hector calls on his brother to give him a spear and then he turns back to see Athena instead and boom, dead mothafucka. But well, be satisfied with what we have tho.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcome. If you guys wanna talk, I'm here [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pseftisincertus)


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